Session Lesson Short #1:  "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing themselves.” 

#1

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing themselves.” 

- Leo Tolstoy


This quote is so important.

Now, more than ever, people are feeling overwhelmingly depressed and anxious, while simultaneously trying to change the world. In essence, they are asking the world to grow while they sit by and watch, hoping for that one thing that motivates everything that we do: a good feeling. 

Whether you’re going for a run, downing a fifth of Jack Daniels, or venting your political frustrations on Facebook. All of these things are being done so that, maybe, we feel a little bit better.

The problem is, we want those feelings to stick. So, actually, we’re not just looking for a feeling but a feeling that lasts. When feelings last, we experience them as a good mood, as confidence, as a feeling of high self esteem, as optimism; all of those pop-psychology buzz words that everyone seems to be looking for, or complaining that they don’t have.

Unfortunately too many of us experience our feelings like emotional cotton candy. Super yummy in the moment, then it quickly dissolves and we want more.

There is a way, though, to get those good feelings that have a longer half-life. How? In a word: growth.  

Just about anything that you engage in that causes you to grow will deliver feelings that last way longer than the time it takes you to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop.  

Change yourself, force growth upon yourself and watch those feelings you’ve been searching for stick around for a while.  And when it works let me know. I’ll toast to you with a little bit of that Jack Daniels.            
                                                                               - Josh
 

➤ Where to Start: On Mountain Lions and Medicine

There is a Better Fuel

Anger can drive you but it also rots the engine. If you don't only care about getting there, but care about how you feel when you get there; you will ultimately have to find a better energy source.

Vision Ahead of Execution

Vision is always ahead of execution. This is something all artists learn on their way to becoming great. The moment we envision something that we passionately want for our lives, most often it is ahead of what we are able to produce at the moment. This is not failure, but the natural course of things. Don't become frozen by the things you can picture and don't yet have. Head down the road of the great creators and begin to build it.

Be Selfish, Give

As Adults, one of the things that we hopefully leave childhood with is learning how to give, and that giving can be selfish. The thing is, when we learn how to give for us and from us, so many of the feelings we search for come our way. The problem becomes when we're so hung up on what we're getting or not getting, we never learn that giving is much more medicinal. 

Knowing What You Want Is Not Enough

 

Knowing what you want is crucial to living a good life, but it's not enough. There are many people who get everything they want and remain miserable. The key is learning what you want in order to feel fulfilled. And that is how you can make your life your own work of art. Because figuring that out is much more of an art than a science. 

Anais Nin Said...

Anais Nin said, "we don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." That could be depressing, but it could also be inspiring: the life we live is not finished but rather a work in progress we have a hand in creating. Boundaries, consistency and space/openness  are a great trifecta for creativity, and therefore creating that life. 

Know Your Anger...

Know your anger - it's a good thing. To know it, kiss it on the mouth even. If you don't learn to become intimate with your anger you will ascribe it not to you but to the world outside. That is setting up a lifetime of hell. To live in a world as furious, stagnant, and unyielding as you are.

Sometimes a relationship...

Sometimes a relationship runs its course and so the same can be said about a career. I'm not saying that we should treat our careers the way a kid eats candy canes - a few licks and then onto the next one. In fact, a meaningless job can become meaningful the moment it begins to subsidize the other parts of your life. But there can be a litmus test- is your work killing your soul? If it is, just like a relationship, it may be time to cut bait, break up, and start exploring.